In my idyllic Middle-American childhood, when it snowed my mom would take my brother and me outside with a giant plastic mixing bowl. We would scoop a big bowl full of fresh snow and carry it inside. Quickly, before it melted we would mix it with a can of condensed milk. Then, we’d add salt and vanilla extract until we had something like vanilla ice cream, but with a nice slushy granita kind of quality. As with ice cream, we’d add chocolate syrup, and various accouterments, which we did not refer to as accouterments, being children and whatnot. We’d do this when we had snow days and it was really a lot better than school.
Now, the world is a dark, bleak place. I live in New York City. Snow is brown. Global warming is a thing. It snows once a season, then with no place to put the remnants, we’re left with black tire tracked gulfs all winter, which your neighbor’s adorable French bulldog has spotted with yellow.
If you live in a metropolitan area and this scene looks familiar, I don’t know that I’d really recommend making snow ice cream. It also might not hold up taste-wise if you’re over the age of 10. Still, the mix of acid rain and M15 bus fumes create a balance of acidity and smokiness—so what if your future children are born with a third arm? If you want to take my nostalgia and make it your own, I say, no risk no reward. Pretty much anything fun and tasty kills you anyway.
1 huge mixing bowl of freshly scooped snow
1 12 oz can of sweetened condensed milk
1 t salt
1 t vanilla extract.
1. Take a giant plastic mixing bowl and scoop a heaping pile of white snow.
2. Take the snow inside, and working quickly, open a can of condensed milk and pour it over the top.
3. Add the salt and vanilla extract.
4. Mix all ingredients thoroughly with a spatula until you achieve an ice cream–like texture.
4. Eat plain, or with whatever toppings you’d like!